Ryan watched as the remains of the meal were taken to the
kitchen to be cleaned. He smiled, finishing the last of the wine.
Colin had really outdone himself...especially after all that had
happened this week.
He was surprised that Colin had taken it so calmly. The cheating,
the one-night-stand that had somehow grown from once in a
while to a few times a month to sometimes twice a week. He
couldn't keep it a secret forever, of course, and Colin had
eventually found out. But Colin had simply explained that Ryan
meant too much to him to lose him to someone else, even for
something like this. Ryan had assured him that it hadn't meant
anything, and promised that he would never do such a thing
again. Colin seemed to accept that, but he was feeling so warm
and fuzzy (and still a bit guilty) that he needed to reiterate
"I'm so sorry, Col," he said again. "I need you to know that
nothing like that will ever happen again."
Colin gazed back at him neutrally. "I know that."
Ryan smiled. "You trust me that much?"
"No; no I don't," he sighed, picking up the dessert plates and
heading for the kitchen.
Ryan blinked. That wasn't supposed to happen; they were
supposed to be making up, not still fighting. That's what this
was, a make-up dinner. Ryan pushed his chair back to rise and
go after him, but for some reason, he couldn't stand. His legs
felt like they were attached to lead weights. He put his hand
on the arm of the chair to push himself up, but he was still
unable to stand. He couldn't be that drunk...
He watched as Colin came back in through the kitchen doorway.
"Col...?" he asked, his brow creasing. He was beginning to
"How are you doing, Ry?" he asked. There was a coldness in his
voice that Ryan had never heard before.
"What--" He swallowed thickly, unable to get the words out. He
stared at Colin, suddenly afraid. His eyes, the only parts of
his body that felt like they were working properly, darted
anxiously until they focused on the face of his lover.
"Feeling all right?" For an instant, his face was still
unreadable, but then the cold expression shifted into one of
malice. The edges of his mouth twitched upward. "I suppose you
were wondering how I knew you wouldn't cheat again when I said I
didn't trust you. Well, now you know."
Ryan's eyes widened fearfully. He tried to force himself up and
out of the chair, but he was too weak to move. He just stared
at Colin in disbelief, stunned that the man he'd known and loved
for over twenty years could do something like this...to him.
"Valium," said Colin, walking over to him and leaning down,
putting them eye to eye. "Valium, and those muscle relaxants
you take for your back. Take half a bottle of each and mix well
with alcohol. You won't make it through the night."
Somehow, Ryan managed to gather enough strength to move. He
pushed against the chair, but only ended up slumping forward and
down. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Colin
followed him, leaning over even more.
"And do you know what everyone will say? They'll say 'Oh, poor
Colin. He caught Ryan cheating and left him, and then Ryan
killed himself from the guilt.'" He shook his head in mock
sympathy. "I've already told Drew and the others that I left
you -- they don't even know I'm here. When they find your body,
I'll probably be the first person they call." He smiled
slightly. "Goodbye, Ryan. I hope you take some comfort in the
fact that you're the only person on Earth who could have driven
me to this. You're the only one I've ever loved that much."
Ryan watched as Colin turned and walked out, a single tear
trailing down his cheek. It fell to the floor, unseen.