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Nesting with Snakes

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Jarvan stalked up to Garen, smarting from Swain's “polite congratulations”. “Why is this a good idea again?” he snarled, low-voiced in an attempt not to be overheard.

“I could write it down for you to look at when you feel a fit of the vapors coming on.” Garen continued looking behind Jarvan, in the direction of Lux and Darius.

Jarvan had stood with his back their direction on purpose, and now he realized it gave Garen cover to surreptitiously watch the couple. “I'm serious, Garen.” Although, in Garen's mellow presence he felt himself beginning to relax.

“So am I.” Garen sipped his wine.

“Garen,” Jarvan warned.

“Apologies, my liege. Ugh. They're doing that thing again.”

Jarvan frowned, and resisted looking over his shoulder. “Do we need to go over there?”

“Not unless you have a strong desire to witness it again.”

“Witness what?” Jarvan knew he sounded testy.

Garen met his eyes for the first time since he arrived. “You really haven't seen them do their thing?”

“What are you even talking about?” Jarvan felt a pang. Had he let his personal distaste for all things Noxian lead him to miss something so obvious in Lux's new relationship out of sheer avoidance?

But Garen grinned, acting like nothing was amiss. “Oh, man. I think you're too late for this round, but I can do it for you right here.” He put his wineglass down and put his hands in front of his chest, facing each other like puppets.

“Blah, blah, blah, something Demacian, blah,” said one of the hand-puppets in the high-pitched voice Garen used to imitate his sister.

“Ewww. Demacia is so gross. Why are you sooooo Demacian?” the other hand-puppet said in a deeper voice.

“Rawr. Tell me how Demacian I am some more, Tiger,” the Lux-puppet said, moving over to rub against the Darius-puppet.

“I don't know what I'm being rewarded for, but I like it,” the Darius-puppet concluded before turning back into a hand and picking up Garen's wineglass.

Instead of returning Garen's grin, Jarvan sighed. “I think I'm old, Garen.”

“What? Why?”

“I suddenly realized that all the men younger than us are idiots.”

Garen laughed and turned his eyes back to the scene over Jarvan's shoulder. “That's not news, Jarvan.”

“It is to me, old man.”