Work Header

Murphy's Cops Law #8

Work Text:

Roxanne stopped in the doorway to the old school house. She turned suddenly to face Metro Man. She clutched his hands. “Come back from the dead. Your friends miss you. You can’t be happy here by yourself.”

“I am. I’m getting some well deserved quiet and I’ve got three songs written for my debut album.” Metro Man smiled tenderly and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “The two people who mean anything to me already know. It’s your turn to take care of my little blue buddy.”

Roxanne shook her head and smiled ruefully. “He makes a great hero. Who would’ve thought?”

Metro Man’s eyes sparked.

Roxanne snorted a laugh. “You can’t be serious.”

“He just needed someone to fight for.” Metro Man chucked her under the chin and stepped back. “See ya around, Roxy,” he said carelessly over his shoulder and disappeared inside.

Roxanne stared after him for a moment. Then she let out a small giggle. She shook her head and climbed back into her news van. She put the windows down, cranked up the AC-DC, and headed for the x-villain/superhero lair.

Upon arrival, the first thing she heard was Megamind’s wailing. She stopped humming “Shoot to Thrill”. She ran to the lab and saw him flailing away, trying to grab Minion, who kept backing out of reach.

“I thought I told you not to buy discount parts from Turbeckistan,” Megamind yelled.

“They gave me a good deal,” Minion retorted defensively.

“Old Cold War Soviet parts.”

Minion looked around in a panic as if for a place to hide but his robotic suit creaked every time he moved. He scrambled out of the way, just avoiding Megamind’s fist. “They even threw in free one week shipping.”

“That’s because they wanted to get rid of the junk!”

Minion put the lab table between himself and Megamind. “You got mad at me last time I bought the primo parts from Germany. The budget was your idea, remember?”

Megamind felt his way around the table. He made a mad grab in the direction of Minion’s voice. His arms closed over nothing but air. His mouth made a large o shape as he fell on the ground.

Minion wrung his robotic hands but made no move to help Megamind. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

Megamind crawled towards Minion. He held one hand up, clenched it in a fist, and shook it. “Not as sorry as you will be. Now, you stay still.”

“Do I have to?”


Roxanne blinked and hurried to Megamind’s side before he could reach Minion. She rested a hand on his back. “Will someone tell me what happened?” She peered into his face. His aqua eyes were wide and panicked. She cupped his face in her free hand. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t see your lovely face.”

Roxanne waved her fingers in front of his face. “What happened?”

Megamind took a deep breath. “I was testing my new solar ray gun.”

Roxanne sighed. “You promised me you’d be careful.”

Megamind tensed. He stuck his bottom lip out. “I was careful. I installed a flash suppressor.” He looked around. “It didn’t work. Thanks to the antiquated parts my crack assistant provided for me,” he finished, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Minion sniffed. “I’m sorry. I try my best.”

“Do we need to take you to the hospital?” Roxanne asked in concern.

“I don’t think so. It’s probably temporary.”

“But we should make sure.”

Megamind sat against the base of the table. “Very well,” he huffed, “but a hospital trip won’t be necessary. You had best scan me with the MDD, Minion.”

Roxanne sat back on her heels in front of him. She kept hold of his hand. “MDD?” she echoed, puzzled.

“Medical diagnostic device,” Megamind enunciated crisply.


Megamind rolled his eyes. “The name tricorder is already copyrighted.”