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by Siw

Remy was not an innocent man. Remy knew he was anything but innocent; he had too many sins on his conscience. He had done some really bad things in the past, things he had done because he knew no better at the time. Remy knew that it did not excuse him from it in any way, and he never used it as an excuse for what he had done.

They were days in Remy's life that he would never forget, days where he would light a candle for one of those special or tragic, or sometimes both, events in his life. Those were days that changed his life, some for the worse and some for the better.

An off-white candle was lit on the anniversary of his wedding day. He had married his best friend so that their warring guilds could be united once and for all. It had been a beautiful day, the sun was shining and Bella had looked so stunning in her outfit; a simple white blouse and a skirt that was flared and layered in a soft pink hue. Remy had never been happier, when he stood at the altar and waited for her to come down the aisle. She had smiled to him as she walked up to him and they said their vows and their 'I do's' to each other.

Everything was ruined when Bella's brother, Julien, had challenged him to a duel. Julien had never agreed with the wedding between Remy and Bella, he was too possessive of his sister. Remy had agreed to the duel and in the end he had killed Julien and was exiled from the city, which ended his relationship with Bella. It was both the best and the worst day in his life.

On the anniversary of the Morlock massacre, Remy would light a bright white candle in remembrance of their meaningless deaths. He would say a small prayer for them; praying that they had found their salvation even if their lives were extinguished all too soon. The logical part of him knew that it was not his fault, knew that he had no idea Sinister had given Victor Creed another order than he had given Remy. However, the emotional side of Remy felt that he was responsible for the act, even though he had saved Sarah.

A black candle was lit for the day he was left at Antarctica by Rogue, after the horrific mock trial lead by Erik the Red. It was the day he lost his faith in both the X-men team and in love. He knew that his action during the Morlock Massacre was not going to be forgotten easily by the team, even if they had allowed him back to the mansion when he had miraculously returned home. It also seemed that it was only Remy that remembered that the day of the trial was also on the anniversary of the day he had come to the mansion along with Storm; the day he had felt a flicker of hope that he might have found himself a home. He might not trust the X-men anymore but he would help them fight for their dream; for Professor Xavier's dream of a world where humans and mutants lived in peace.


Today was a very special day. Today was the first time he would light a brand new, blood red candle. Today it had been a year since he had felt what real love was supposed to feel like. Remy took out the candle from his little hiding place. Oh, he was sure that his love knew where it was, but whenever Remy needed one of the candles nothing had been disturbed, nor had anything been added or removed. His love respected his need to have these things private and that made Remy love him even more.

Remy placed the candle in a bowl filled with sand, making sure it would not tip over. He stroked a match against the coarse side of the matchbox and watched the flames flicker for a bit before settling down. He moved the match to the candle and lit it. He then placed the matchbox back to its place.

He bowed his head and whispered softly to himself, "Thank you for what you have given me, even though I do not deserve it."

Remy raised his head and smiled softly at the reflection he saw in the window. Logan stood in the doorway and smiled back at him.

"So why blood red, Cajun?"

Remy rose from his position on the floor and walked over to Logan, kissing him sweetly on the lips. "It stands for our passion."

The end.