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No Merry Christmas

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No Merry Christmas
by Pirate Turner

 

 

Have a holly jolly Christmas
It's the best time of the year
Well I don't know if there'll be snow
But have a cup of cheer

        The tall woman scowled as the merry song played loudly over the store's radio, and her dark eyes glanced outside where snow fell heavily. "Stupid song," she muttered grumpily underneath her breath. "I'll be doing good if I can even get into my own door when I get home."

        She loathed this time of year, and she rarely came out of her abode during Christmas. Even now, as she was bustled from side to side by laughing children and busy adults, she wished she hadn't had to come out. Unfortunately, though, she had had no other choice for there were simply some things that no one, not even herself, could do without.

        {One more item,} she reminded herself as a baby's wail broke through the rest of the noise that filled the cramped store. {One more item, and you're out of here.}

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street
Say hello to friends you know
And everyone you meet

        She fervently wished that song would shut up, but she knew that the carols would not stop until the dreaded holiday was finally gone. She still had a week of pure Hell to survive through. Despite herself, she could not tune out the loud music for it barreled through her head and into her skull much like a row of bullets shattering the bones that protected her mind from such horrid things.

        Just who, she wondered, did the singer expect people like her to say hello to? They didn't have any friends, and the few family members they had didn't care anything about them. Her heart ached as she was forced to remember Kurt and Rogue. She'd abandoned Kurt when he was just a baby in hopes that he might be able to escape from the angry mob that had persued them through the forest that night, but although she had done it to save him, she knew he would never understand her reasoning nor accept that she had saved his life. Rogue, on the other hand, she had been completely wrong with, but although her adopted daughter had been granted a second chance in the X-Men, she would never live to see such an opportunity for herself.

Ho ho the mistletoe
Hung where you can see
Somebody waits for you
Kiss her once for me

        The mistletoe didn't always work to get a kiss. She knew that all too well from a past experience with Forge. Even if it did, however, its fatal deadliness was nothing when compared to the horrors that a woman might face if she was foolish enough to actually allow a man into her heart. She had burned many men and killed even more, but her heart had still been wounded far too many times for her to ever believe in true love again. Kurt's father. Creed. Sinister. Forge. The list went on and on with no end in sight.

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh bygolly have a holly jolly Christmas
This year

        As Mystique finally succeeded in grabbing the last item on her list, a couple of giggling teenage girls bumped into her with such impact and momentum that she was sent slamming backwards into the shelf. The pain barely registered as her dark eyes flashed. A low, deadly growl escaped her red lips as she swiftly returned to her feet. She turned, her eyes scanning the crowd, but the girls had already vanished into the thick mass of people swarming all over the store. As the song continued to pound into her brain, Mystique growled again but nonetheless started toward the cash register.

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street
Say hello to friends you know
And everyone you meet

        She had almost reached the end of the long line at the register when she saw them. Her eyes quickly snatched away from the parents with the two young children, but the damage had already began. As she waited in the line, she could not stop her head from turning back nor her eyes from silently watching the happy family.

        The boy could not have been any more than ten. He seemed full of energy as he hurried toward the aisles of toys that were already overflowing with customers. His black bangs fell into his eyes as he turned, grinning hugely, to look back at his parents and sister. "Come on!" he urged them eagerly. "Hurry!" He seemed so much like she had always imagined the little boy she had missed out on raising must have been like.

        The girl was quieter and appeared to be about four years-old. Her long, reddish brown hair was tied back in a loose ponytail. Her head kept turning from side to side, her huge green eyes trying futilely to take in every single thing in the bustling store. Her hand clung tightly to her mother's, and Mystique's own hands, though loaded with several items, suddenly seemed achingly empty.

Ho ho the mistletoe
Hung where you can see
Somebody waits for you
Kiss her once for me

        The song now seemed even louder than before as Mystique whipped her head back around and moved forward in the slow line. She blinked several times as she struggled to keep the tears that welled in her heart from showing in her eyes.

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh bygolly have a holly jolly Christmas
This year

        "Don't you see?" she muttered a bitter question to the singer as she finally succeeded in checking out and headed swiftly for the door. "Some people just don't get holly, jolly, or merry Christmases." It was all she could do to keep the tears from falling as she blasted through the doors and out into the freezing Winter night. She ran for her car even as the icy winds ripped right through her jacket and layers of clothes. It was only once she shut herself securely in her locked car that she finally allowed herself to demorph and break down into tears.

The End