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Chicago Hope

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Chicago Hope

Laurie was glorious... Always would be to Jeffrey. What had happened to her was grotesque, what she did gruesome, even though she didn’t mean it... She was still his love. Geiger knew he’d always love her. Aaron was right; he’d never leave her... Because he’d always love her.

He lay in his bed, and the tears he’d last shed as he sung her the song would not leave him... He hated to be thinking like this. He couldn’t afford to. His patients couldn’t afford it... But he couldn’t quite get it out of his head... Laurie. Joey... And his words to Aaron... Jeffrey had sent “I won’t sleep with you” and Aaron had said “Somehow, I didn’t think you would...”

Had Jeffrey really given Aaron all his love, all his loyalty, all his concentration because he felt then, that he wouldn’t be being disloyal to Laurie... What was it? Like a bisexuality of the mind or something??

Aaron and he were true best friends, and they absolutely loved one another... No doubt. Like he’d told Camille and everyone else in that quarantined room yesterday, he wouldn’t apologise for the fact that love existed. It was his deepest joy. It was what grounded him, because sometimes, he felt the pull, and really wanted to just fly away like Laurie had...

He cried, too, because Aaron was back with Camille... He was happy about that, but he felt sad, too. He didn’t know how much he loved Aaron... It was intense... Like his love for Laurie, whom he could never really get back with, as Aaron had with Camille... That hurt, too...

What would he, Jeffrey, have done if Aaron, in line with what Arthur asked Philip of them, witnessing how Camille talked of her husband and Jeffrey’s love... And Jeffrey talking of his and Aaron’s their love... What would Jeffrey have done, if Aaron had said to him that time, “I wish you would...” (Sleep with me when we go home)...

Could he? Would he have? Would his intimacy issues have disappeared? Did he need Aaron that way, want to imagine communicating his love like that..? He did not know... If he let himself, would he find that he felt guilty about ‘leaving’ Laurie... Would he be that screwed up over it?

No. Now, he would never know... Because Aaron was back with Camille, and Jeffrey fell asleep, still wishing he could be back with Laurie, before it all happened, when he was truly happy... As happy as his friend Aaron made him..

 

The End..? 14.9.07