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Love and Service

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Sometimes I wonder just what was in that fairy dust. It was strong, whatever it was. It still works, you see. Not all the time, it didn't do that, even when I was first hit by it. It only works when I look at her. In the beginning, it was enough just to be near her, my heart would fill and my body all aflame. It has faded now. I've grown fond of her, no doubt, I do love her in a way, for she is mother to the child I love truly, and my companion of many years, and she does love me. But away from her, the desire fades, and leaves me empty. In her presence I can sometimes find contentment, and in her face salvation, for to look her in the eyes is to recapture that feeling of good and pure love from the beginning. Though I know, even through that misty eyes haze, that it is the feeling alone, and not the truth. My heart truly lies further away. Elora knows, I believe. Still such a small, dear child. But she remembers. She asks about him, even though he left when she was an infant, never to return. Happy at home with his fields, his magic, his natural children, and his wife. I remember the love in his eyes when he spoke of them, true love. I know that love, truly, I cannot be bitter, for I love the sweet child. Even before those blasted brownies took her she had captured this jaded heart. And I think I know why I love Sorcha. She needed love. And we needed her. That's why it was her I went foolish for, because I know I looked at him first. I'm certain of it. I looked at him first, but we needed her, and that's why my heart splits in two. Or perhaps, the fairy dust can only create love from nothing, and holds no power where it already exists.


He believed in me. No one else had ever done that. As long as I could remember, no one had ever believed in me. Even he fought it. He didn't want to leave Elora with me. But he did. He didn't believe I was a great swordsman. But he let me fight for him. Asked me to event. He didn't believe I was a theif, defended me even. Couse he immediately asked if I was. But he trusted me to tell him. And the look on his face when I swore my allegiance to him... Iwould have died for him. I should have died for him. He didn't realize what that oath meant to me. How deeply it bound me to him. The oath I would give no other before him, and no other above him. But he's a farmer, he can't be expected to know the warrior's way.