Rating: PG, so far
Summary: Loose lips sink ships
Bye, Bye, Love
With that, Gibbs strode purposely to the elevator, not checking to see if his underlings were following his orders. I didn't even flinch at being pointedly ignored yet again. In the three weeks since the debacle at the restaurant, I had been personally given exactly two orders by Gibbs - and both had been during the first week. Contrary to popular opinion, I really was not an idiot. I knew my NCIS days were numbered. I had simply been waiting for an offer to come along. Now that it had, I would be taking my under-utilized self and starting over yet again. Not that it wouldn't rip my heart out to do it, but I really could see no alternative. I loved Jethro too much to continue making his life uncomfortable - and, frankly, being ignored by someone I cared about so deeply was getting too painful to handle.
With McGee and Gibbs out, and Ziva scurrying around trying to gather the info Gibbs requested, this was the perfect opportunity to put an end to my life here. I had packed up my personal belongings last weekend, so that was not an issue. All I needed to do was turn in my resignation to Gibbs - with a copy to Madame Director, of course - and that would be that. The end of an era for me, in some ways. This was the first time I'd stayed at a job longer than two years, and it was the first time I'd ever been in love with someone. It was somewhat ironic that what had made this job so good for so long was now the one thing making it unbearable.
I KNEW that Gibbs could do better than me, would want better than me, should have better than me. But I'd jumped to some foolish conclusions, stuck my heart out on my sleeve for him to see, and fated myself to living a life without him. The fact that he couldn't even look me in the eye and made certain he was never alone with me put paid to any thought I may have had of working out our "issues." His point was crystal clear - there was no way he could or would ever want one Tony DiNozzo - and the thought of Tony DiNozzo wanting him was exceedingly distasteful.
Jerking from my reverie, I realized that Ziva had been attempting to get my attention for some time. "What's up, Agent David?"
Ziva peered at me suspiciously, but luckily did not ask questions as to where my thoughts had been. "I've been summoned to the Director's office, so I'm going to be out for a bit. Figured you'd want to know where I was when you finally came to yourself."
Smirking slightly, I nodded solemnly at her. "Yes, ma'am. I would indeed have been most concerned, seeing as you simply cannot take care of yourself." I rolled my eyes and smiled genuinely to lessen any sting. "Seriously, thanks for telling me. I may not be here when you get back. I've got plans for lunch." No need for her to know that those plans included starting a cross-country drive to a new life.
"Well, then, see you later, lizard."
"Uh, I think you mean 'alligator,' but I get your point. Take it easy, Ziva."
I watched her until she disappeared down the hall. 'No time like the present, I guess.' Hitting 'SEND' on my resignation e-mail made short work of such a momentous step. Powering off my computer, I grabbed up my backpack and pushed my chair back from my desk. Looking over to Gibbs' desk almost made me lose my nerve, but then I remembered the way he avoided any contact with me and that he would really prefer I wasn't here. With a sigh, I stood, sketched a half-ass salute in the desk's direction, and headed for the elevator. Nothing like leaving behind everything you've ever loved to bring you down and make you wish you actually drank. But I was tough; I would get through this. I might never be happy, but at least I wouldn't have to see Gibbs' discomfort when I was around. It had been a good life, but now it was over. I'd have to learn to live with that.