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Questioning

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Questioning
by Growly

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This one's for MysticLynx. ^.^
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Eddy tugged at his tie with a soft growl. He hated this suit. Black wasn't even his color and Ed was already bawling beside him, his tears soaking into Eddy's shirt and making it wet as well as being just constricting.

He didn't want to be here.

He sure as hell didn't want to spend his afternoon surrounded by all these people he didn't know - strangers every damn one of them, at least as far as he was concerned. He could see a few familiar faces up front - Nazz's blonde hair was a bright spot against the muted tones everyone was in, and Kevin was there too. Not beside Nazz as everyone had predicted, but next to Rolf and looking surprisingly somber. Who knew he would've grown out of being such a jerk, anyway? Eddy had caught their eye earlier but their attempts to talk to him had earned them only a soft grunt in reply. He didn't want to talk to them. He didn't want to be doing this to himself - submitting himself to this kind of torture.

Most of all he didn't want to have to see Double D like this...

It all came back to him now - that last evening he'd spent with Edd. He'd let his temper get the better of him - listening to Edd babble on happily about being admitted to such a prestigious college, marvelling at the offered curriculum and the many activities that could be engaged in on campus. Eddy hadn't heard a word of it really. Who cared about classes and clubs anyway? All Edd's babbling amounted to was that he'd be leaving. Leaving! For four damn years!

He'd had a lot of time to think about it before... well... before this. Too much time. But there was always too much time to feel miserable afterwards - Double D would have appreciated the irony, he thought, hindsight and all that. But shit... he didn't want to learn from his mistakes - he just wanted Double D back! He would have given all the money he'd earned in his scams - more - to have Double D standing beside him right now. Better yet, to be back in their old haunts, their old hiding places, and engaged in activities far more enjoyable than scamming.

At the time he hadn't been able to say something like that to Edd and had gone off at him instead - yelled at him for being such a jerk. 'Guess I was the jerk though... sayin' those things to him...' And when Edd had tried to interject, he'd been forced to shut him up through any means necessary.

Even now he could still taste Edd's mouth - surprisingly sweet - and could still feel the warm press of the smaller frame against his own. It had been fuckin' great. It had lasted only long enough to make him crave more before Edd had pulled away, looking at him with shock glistening in those emerald eyes. 'Why' he'd wanted to know? Why.

It was all Sockhead's fault! Eddy still wanted to scream denial - to go up there in front of the crowd of people and yell at them. How dare they come here to talk about all the things Edd had done and how great he was? What did they know? They didn't know anything about Double D - his odd little quirks, his phobias, even the expression he would get when he was annoyed by Eddy's latest scheme. All of the things that made up the annoying, infuriating, beautiful boy he'd only just learned to appreciate.

Why? All it took was that one question - the beseeching look in his eyes - and Eddy remembered that it shouldn't have been like this. Double D was a guy for crying out loud. You didn't go about kissing guys or feeling the overwhelming urge to pounce on them and spend an entire day having the hottest sex imagineable. He couldn't have been gay. So obviously it had to be Edd's fault for doing this to him. And when Edd had tried to deny it - he'd lashed out in the only way he could think of.

The thought of those normally bright green eyes wide in shock and hurt - the disbelief he saw as Edd lifted one hand to his face to brush the reddened skin - they still haunted Eddy. He wished he could take it back. He hadn't even been able to think about stuttering out an apology before Edd had just left. Left without a word. The last time Eddy had seen him.

Until now.

He shivered a little as he hunched down into his seat, wishing he could just leave, wishing Ed would quit crying on him. Wishing most of all that Edd hadn't decided to leave that very night - that he hadn't been goaded into that rash action by a single ill-timed kiss and all it entailed. It wasn't as though he wouldn't have been able to see Edd sometimes - on summer vacations. It wasn't like he wouldn't have been able to talk to him on the phone. He wouldn't have lost Edd for good...

Eddy bit his lip so hard he thought he might draw blood. He wasn't going to cry damn it all - he was man enough for that at least. He wouldn't embarrass himself with tears when they brought Edd out and he was reminded of just how much he'd lost and just how much it hurt.

Cuz it hurt like hell.

And everyone was turning to look when they advanced like a black tide - Eddy's heart leaped into his throat as he saw Double D there right at the front. He wasn't wearing his hat - it was the first thing Eddy noticed - and his hair flowed down past his shoulders as black and glossy as a raven's wing. His eyes were so bright they almost glowed. He actually looked happy. He looked so damn beautiful it made Eddy's chest tighten... nothing could be more beautiful than that. He had to turn his gaze away as Edd accepted the rewards of all his hard work. A doctorate in a little under six years... half the time it normally took. If anyone deserved it though, it was Double D.

Ed was using the sleeve of his jacket as a tissue now, beaming at Eddy through eyes that were bright with happy tears. Of course Ed would be happy - Double D had sent him a letter every week and Eddy had always been the one who'd had to read them out loud to the big lug. Never once had those letters mentioned Eddy.

There was a party afterwards and he didn't want to attend that either - he wouldn't have at all if Ed hadn't dragged him there, so very eager to see Double D after all this time. Eddy could only wish he could run up and hug Double D the way Ed was doing. Instead he hung back, watching the two of them and feeling an odd twist of jealousy in his gut. He froze as he saw a pair of vivid green eyes peering at him over Ed's shoulder, and could not tear himself away as Edd at last approached him.

What was he supposed to say?

Edd looked at him searchingly, and Eddy could almost imagine that he had that same look in his eyes that he'd worn that long-ago day. Almost pleading really.

"Eddy." It was all he said, all he needed to say. There was so much behind that one word that it made Eddy shake.

"Yeah?" His voice was embarrassingly unsteady.

"Why...?" The word was so quiet that he could almost believe he'd imagined it. But there was no mistaking the question in those eyes. Edd was probably just asking why he'd come after all the bad feelings that had been left between them, but Eddy chose to hear it differently. Impulse overruled reason as it had once before, and he was grabbing Edd - holding Edd.

Kissing Edd.

He was just as sweet as Eddy remembered...

The room seemed to have gone silent - he knew why. They were all staring. Eddy pulled away, feeling his cheeks redden as he realized just how many people were giving him looks now. He'd just mde a fool of himself in front of everyone here. Embarrassment had thoroughly cowed him, and he was about to tuck tail and leave when he felt a hand on his arm. Stopping him.

What?

Why?

He had no more time to think of questions as he felt Edd's lips pressed against his own again, tentative at first and then with increasing confidence. His hands came up and brushed through that long ebony hair. He couldn't believe this was happening. He still couldn't believe it even as Double D broke the kiss and looked at him, his green eyes still filled with that question.

God.

"Because I love you, stupid..." He managed in a hoarse whisper.

Those eyes were brilliant, and a small smile curled at the corners of Edd's lips. Eddy had time to think that maybe he'd been wrong when he'd thought nothing could surpass Edd looking like he had accepting that doctorate, because the way he looked now topped it head and shoulders. And he was leaning in again, Ed crowing joyfully behind them as their mouths came together in a slow, tantalizing kiss.

If there was a better answer to "why?" Eddy didn't want to know it.

*end*